Shine like Britney and take a line with Whitney

Some mothers might, I dunno, be a bit shocked and furious that their kids are being taken away.

Not Britney. The day before all this, she probably sat at home, surrounded by Whoppers, thinking aloud “Wow, I hope that Kevin Federline gets those kids away from that awful girl.”

Then someone would point out to Britney that she is that awful girl. She’d look kind of confused for a minute, then say “Oh well, I still have my tanning appointment tomorrow, right? Because, seriously, if I start losing my color then I’ll kill myself. Wait, did y’all just say I have kids? Holy crap, nevermind, this Whopper has extra pickles! Yay!”